Demonstrate consciousness through the body.
For example, when I make love to my woman, it is not because I need to get something from her. I’m present. I’m not entering her, entering into that realm with her because I need to feel a release, or power. I certainly might have those impulses, but they are not the highest reason for joining with her in love.
My urge to merge with her, body and being, is to serve love, to give. Not in a wishy washy way, I’m ready to take her, to take her somewhere deeper and into the freedom of love.
This orientation transforms sexual dynamics into temple of energy and power for both of us. Even while I may say something to her like, ‘I was watching porn for at least thirty minutes while you were out. I’m going crazy.’ The fact that I had watched the porn and not ejaculated, that I had been the witness, using pornography as a window into presence, deeper conscious, active and effortless awareness — that I am ready to bring that desire to her as a gift — it has a transformational effect on the relationship.
I was more trustable in my desire. I don’t need anything from her, or any of the other woman. I wanted them, I was awed in admiration of them, but I didn’t need them. When you are coming from this place, resting in consciousness, women will go out of their way to try to become the object of your attention.
They are drawn to its depth and capacity to stand free. Be that in desire, or pain.
This is why many women don’t like catcalling. For them, it’s psychic and energetic equivalent to ass grabbing in public. Masturbating in public, like some men do in India when they see a beautiful westerner. These men are pointing their attention on her and essentially grabbing at her form. They’re violating her with their desire. Unable to control themselves. Slaves to impulse. It’s not giving. It’s certainly not trustable. For many women and men, it’s a completely selfish act.
Now some rare women like their ass being grabbed in public, or their form being ogled at by any form of masculine attention, deep or shallow. For these women, it’s a violation of trust and their being. Take for example, women who work in pornography and truly enjoy it, or girls who are happy to reveal themselves in public.
Some of these women are predisposed, karmically, to share their bodies in this kind way, for them its pleasurable. They’re at a point where they feel this as a realisation of love and freedom.
But many women are not into this kind of karma or attention. They feel hurt by the men’s lack of depth, they want to be admired and witness for their entire feminine form, not just used for their body. More so, they want the communion to be about something, for it to be orientated towards love and greater consciousness. Do you know what this means?
For men, rather than a substitute for being love, activities like excessive gambling, obsessive money-making, drinking are a substitute for many men for purpose and consciousness. Instead of putting themselves up on the line, their true gifts and navigating from their deeper desires, they settle for putting their money on the line, which is a form of energy, a surrogate for their own consciousness combining with life force.
Likewise heavy drinking is a way to numb the sheer pain of existence which is inherent in masculine energy, in consciousness itself, whether you’re a man or a woman. Just to be alive is painful, much of the time. Consciousness, being the space which witnesses our pain and pleasures, can, when we expand and stabilise it (which takes practice) alleviate, or transcend the world of form, seemingly, although it is more like, transcending or feeling through, than escaping.
Alcohol has a powerful effect on the opiate (painkiller) receptors in the brain. Consciousness can bring us to the same blissful place, but it requires we feel through the pain, whereas alcohol numbs it out. So, drinking heavily and regularly for some men, becomes their favourite means of sidestepping the pain necessary to deepen their consciousness.
Pain is the primary force for the development of consciousness. When we suffer, we have a choice. We can become consumed by the pain lost in the feminine storm of energy it is producing, or we can deepen into consciousness.
There’s nothing wrong with either choice, but the masculine response is to deepen into consciousness, to open wider than it, to feel through it, and when you do that, the true nature of consciousness and the feminine, or energy or form or whatever you want to call it, is realised.
Form, life, is only change. Only change. And your consciousness is shifting and changing with it. The silent tone behind the music, without which, there would be no music. Black implies white. Sound implies silence. So, when men get lost in the pain of a breakup, let’s say, and they think about it all the time, and think it’s never going to end, or they won’t change, this is a feminine place to respond from.
It’s natural and beautiful, but it doesn’t, ultimately, jive with their core intuition. It doesn’t radiate masculine power. There aren’t many women on earth who want to be ravished by a man crying over a breakup. They may well still admire and want to comfort the man in his pain, especially if he acted with skill and integrity, and the breakup was out of his hands.
But if he’s lost in his own self-concern and thoughts, blaming himself for not being good enough, this is a feminine response, and feminine energy is not drawn to be ravished by feminine energy. It’s like trying to join two power sockets together. Without an ‘innie’ and an ‘outie’, without a power pole of positive and negative the juice just isn’t gonna run.
There’s no polarity and sexual charge.
Now that same man where able to stand free in his pain, open to it, breathing down his body, witnessing the pain coming through him, not hiding, not running away, able to meet this woman comforting him in the eye, deep down, or perhaps not at all self-conscious of his own depth, but intuitively aware of his nature — as being already dead, already complete — then, that women, if she’s in a feminine place, would likely feel trust and even sexual polarity with that man. She can feel his depth of consciousness, integrity, freedom and truth. He is passing the test, willing to stand in the fire of being. Such consciousness is often extremely attractive for a woman.
If you want to increase your sexual value to a woman and the world, then practice opening your body, deepening your breath and placing your attention on the wider world around you. No matter the challenge. Nor where your limit is. Only reach into that limit. Now. Or in any moment, you are able to take your attention deeper and wider, without effort.
Simply breath and feel the space around you. Listen to the furthest sound that you can, it could be a bird singing, men working on the building site, children playing, whatever it is. And imagine yourself feeling outward, from your feet and hands, from your chest, into the world, like this moment itself was a woman that wanted to make love to you.
Put your attention on her and wider than her, to include, but not focus on, your own thoughts, emotions, and feelings. In time, you will notice women are more attracted to you, they will often walk by you a certain way, or stop close to you, because somewhere deep down they can feel your consciousness, your presence and trustworthiness.
People will be more open to you, they may want to give you work, or more money, because your consciousness is not bound, your attention is free, and thus conveys the depth of presence and attention which is trustable, stable, not at the whim of thoughts and emotions, but able to stand free in the midst of them, and even, perhaps, to shepherd them to a better place when the time is right.
It is clear when you are engaged in a task, such as rock climbing, designing a blueprint, writing a book, you must engage with the thoughts that guide and result in positive outcomes. But in the open sea of feminine energy and consciousness which is the world, far better to train your attention to be wide open, and honed on your intention. Not constantly absorbed in random, ejaculatory thoughts and self-concern. This is instantly depolarising.
What Women Really Want:
A man who does not know his life’s purpose, now and in this moment, is lost. He does not truly know himself, since he doesn’t know where he is in relation to his destiny, and he doesn’t know where to go in order to manifest his purpose, his deepest desire.
It is no wonder then, that a man without a consciously chosen purpose will either attract a woman who will want to direct and give purpose to their lives (and thus emasculate him), or a weak woman, whom he will struggle to be inspired and challenged by, and thus receive a lack of inspiring energy and rejuvenation, or perhaps he will not be able to attract a woman at all.
Many men these days complain of there being “no good women.” This is a fallacy. An abandonment of their responsibility to intuit their direction and pursuit it with integrity and passion, and thus, attract a woman who can trust them, since they know themselves and demonstrate the self-trust necessary to pursue a meaningful direction.
Men often misunderstand feminine energy and psychology as a kind of manipulation or irrationality. What they are missing is that a woman and man are evolved to serve one another. Not in some mean spirited and lowly way, but as a solution, both in evolutionary practicality and as a spiritual reality.
I am not talking about a woman doing the dishes and the man taking out the rubbish, although relationships of quality will certainly look to serve one another by a division of labour which serves the passion and purposes of a relationship on all levels, from domestic and emotional, through to sexual and energetic, it is the nature of energy to concentrate in poles and to arrange itself on spectrums.
Consider light. It ranges from one extreme to the other. Each end of the spectrum giving the other its definition and quality. Just so with magnetism. One pole holds and stabilises the other through its push and pull. As the north and south poles attract and repulse one another in a dance of cosmic proportions, so too does the feminine test and challenge the masculine to arrive at a higher order of truth and love. This can be realised quite easily in practical terms. Take making decisions, for example.
Some complain of their woman’s tendency to change her mind, or resist their direction. Say you ask your woman to go out to dinner with you, or to accompany you on your favourite mutual hobby, like dancing or climbing. Well, a good woman, animating feminine energy, may very well, deep down, want to go along with you. She likely won’t say that though, and when you say to her, excitedly, “let’s go climbing!” it’s entirely possible she will respond with a dour look, and say something like, “I don’t want to go climb, I feel tired.” Her reasons may feel very plausible.
This is a point at which many men fail. They give in to this resistance, and accept it as a fact. Now, we must be careful not force our purpose on a woman, it’s important that she chooses to come with us, but if you simply listen to your woman, you will end up compromising on the actions and direction which your wisdom intuits.
This betrayal of your own purpose and direction damages your integrity, and this hurts her deeply. Much more deeply than the friction and discomfort it would take to insist, gently coax, tease, surprise or shock her into openness.
Many times a woman will test you in just such a way, what she is ultimately seeking to do, is stabilise you in your presence and purpose, to give you an opportunity to sharpen the sword of your discernment by feeling into her, perhaps taking her in your arms and guiding her to the good, or jumping up and down with playful frustration.
It is your unshakable love and persistence in your pursuit of your truth, i.e that the climb, or the dance, or the dinner will fulfill you both more than slipping back into the couch. If you persist in love and presence and she still wants to sit on the couch when you know in your depth you want to lead her somewhere, then perhaps she’s not your woman…
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Strength and courage!
Demonstrate consciousness through the body.